Our town only has one RUNNING store. I have honestly wondered how it keeps in business, yet wonder why the town only has one and it is so small. I have wanted to visit it, but frankly I have been leery. I have said repeatedly that all those real runners scare me. I feel like real runners look at me and wonder what the heck I am doing.
Dh let me out of the house yesterday afternoon for a couple errands and he encouraged me to make my debut. I was nearly sick on the way in. It is the kind of store when everyone notices who walks in. A little down town boutique leaves no room for anonymity. Two obviously runners were working there and immediately offered to help. I felt like a complete idiot because I couldn't even tell them why I was there or what I was looking for.
I finally told the one guy that I was freezing on my runs. I have no idea what is available for winter running gear. I don't know what I should be looking for and I don't know what I even like. I couldn't even tell him which part of me was cold on my runs. Before I knew it I was asking tons of questions and yakking like a nervous madwoman. I did learn tons about the local running world. I finally joined the local Road Runner's Group.
I left happy, but amazingly depressed at the same time. I feel like I will never be there. I get so happy over my own progress. I was thrilled when I broke 30 and yet, that is trash to the "Real Runners." I know that my 18 miles a week is chump change to them. I know that my 2 races are laughable. I have been truly running less than a year and the older man has been running longer than I have been alive.
I get so overwhelmed by it all. I feel like the bottom feeder of the running world. I wonder if I will ever feel like more than that. I know that when I run, I am competing with my own body, my own mind, but.... it just gets hard sometimes.
I must take it one day at a time, and to do that, I must run today. in the snow....
Hey at least I got new running gloves.