WOW

SoI actually got off my rear and ran this morning. It felt great, yet awful. I spent a lot of my run cursing myself for letting it get this bad again. At a mile I was dying! What is wrong with me? How could I do this? I know that I am solely responsible for this.

I got in a total of 3.1 miles. I walked half of that. I ran the other half in two parts. I guess I should just be glad I got off my rear and did something. Now, a sensible breakfast, and I must start my day.

I must repeat tomorrow.

DETERMINATION

So I have ignored this blog for over a year. I was a little concerned that it would even be here when I attempted my return.

My return - yes. I have to come back. I have to do something. I have to put it out there - even though no one will be reading this.

I haven't been running. I have been eating right. I have been out of control. I have been blaming my chaotic life and stress, yet there is nothing to blame but myself. I am the one who keeps shoveling the food in.

I have gained back at least 31 of the 68 pounds that I have lost. I am a weight watchers has been. I have failed. However, there is something I can do about it. I can. I will. I am.

We returned from our trip yesterday, and I have been preparing myself for this day. I am curbing the out of control eating, and I am going to start running again. I can't go back any farther. I look at the pictures from our trip and am outraged at myself for letting it get this far.

My goal is to lose 30 pounds before we go back to school. Hard, but doable. I can't get any fatter. I can't.

My other goal has to do with running. Next May I WILL run the Rockford Marathon. I tried to plan a half the last two years and failed both time. I now have one year to do the whole thing. It is time to start training. I can and I will.

My long term goals in place, I need to get my short term goes in order also. It starts with eating this lovely lunch of TLC crackers and FF hot dogs.