I really want to blog here. I just have so little time and energy. I don't even post of my other blog very often. Throughout my day I think of things that I would love to blog about here and there, but I just don't find the time to get to it. When I finally have time (usually late at night) I just don't have the energy to put it out there.
I have been mentally dealing with alot as far as my health and body goes. I really thought as I lost weight that the fat girl mentality would somehow disappear with the pounds. It hasn't. I still hate my body and I still criticize myself daily for that. I have times that I feel really great about the way I look. I know that I look so much better than I did when I started this whole journey, but everytime I look in the mirror, I still see the fat girl.
I feel strong and healthy, but I still am so unhappy with it all. I know that it is good to want more, but is there a point that I will finally be happy? I can't go anywhere without comparing myself to other people, especially anyone of similar age and in the same stage of motherhood. I compare myself to runners and that make me half ill.
I don't know how to fix that all, but I am determined to work on it. One thing that I KNOW that I can do something about it is my training. I want to make a commitment to train seriously. I want to eat better so I can train easier. I know that a marathon will be a lot easier if I can finally drop the last 30 pounds!
Here are my goals. I am going to put it out there for all to read (all two of you :)
Big Goals:
Rockford Half Marathon on May 18, 2008
Chicago Marathon on Octover 12, 2008
The Little Stuff that will get me there:
Push my mile to under 9
Increase my base mileage
Weight training
Yoga
No soda
More water
Eat with purpose
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment